"Every pound you gain can be lost!" - Jillian Michaels

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Heather's Weightloss Ticker

Thirty-Five?! Already??

I'm going to be thirty-five!  Thirty-five!!!  Oh crap!  It's that big scary number, at least for us woman.  That number means your official old!  Sorry.  It does.  Suddenly you have to start getting a million tests run if you get pregnant, and God forbid, because at thirty-five your risk factors for a million different birth defects goes through the roof!  And at thirty-five your body suddenly decides it doesn't want to lose weight anymore.  At thirty-five your body freaks out and starts hoarding every molecule of fat that passes between your lips.  At thirty-five we are suddenly aware at just how fast time is flying by.  At thirty-five we become acutely aware of our age.  At thirty-five your skin falls off and your eyeballs melt from their sockets!!

Ok, maybe not.

Where did the time go?  I was twenty-five the other day.  I swear it.  And get this, trying to lose weight!  I have been trying to lose weight (successfully and un-successfully, healthy and other wise) since I was about twelve.  Twenty-three years of battling the ever growing bulge!  Nothing to help you feel like a loser more, eh?

You know what I mean don't ya?  You get all gung-ho, determined that "this is it!" and you are off, and maybe you do really good for a few weeks, maybe even months...but then...BAM!  For one reason or another you fall off the wagon, maybe you gain it back, maybe you don't, maybe you gain back twice what you lost...  In the end it just leaves you feeling like a loser.  But not the "biggest" one.  Just a plain 'ol loser.  Failed.  Again. (And again, and again...)

Why is this healthy lifestyle so illusive to so many of us?  We all have a million excuses, rationales.  And some are good, allowable, if you will.  Depression kicks my butt.  I have good reason for my depression.  I have good reason to want comfort, wherever I can find it.  Maybe you have good reason too.  But in the end, it just piles on to the already loser like feelings.  And the cycle continues.

I wish I was here to say "Its time.  This is IT!  I'm done, I'm ready, let's get started!"  I wish I could offer you guys a modicum of wisdom.  I mean, sure, I have the know how.  I've lost the weight, I know how to put it right back on too.  Weight loss is a math calculation.  Burn more calories than you consume.  Period.  Don't eat less than 1200 calories.  Eat mostly whole foods, organic if you can, mostly veggies and fruit.  Get off your butt.  Lift some weights.  I mean, its not rocket science people!

So what's the problem?

Well, most people who struggle with weight loss for long periods of time can tell you it isn't always just about the calories.  There's something to the mental game.  That's where I choke up.  Frankly, I'm lazy.  I'm tired, so I sit down.  I'm hungry, so I eat whatever is the easiest, fastest (most of the time that's processed crap).  I don't really buy junk food though.  But I can turn anything into junk food about as fast as a wink!  Or I'll just get in the car.  Now, if I didn't have a car...  I'd have to grow my own food!  LOL!  Which I do, btw.  Some.  I have lots of berry bushes and veggie patches.  But oddly enough, I save them for my four year old.  Because somewhere deep down inside, I KNOW.  I know that she needs the good stuff.  I'd never allow her to subsist on high fat, high sugar foods the way I allow myself to.  I'll have a Slim-fast while I am making her a boiled egg with organic fruit and veggies, whole grain toast and PB.  But they learn by example don't they?  And believe me, she's noticed the Slim-Fast. 

They key to my success is getting over my propensity for laziness.  Just do it!  Right?  Well, we'll see.  Today I say YES!  Because I do not want to see 35 roll around while I am still an out of shape, unhealthy blob!  I've dedicated this round of weight loss to see 27lbs gone by my thirty-fifth birthday in April.  That's 2.1lbs a week.  A tough, but doable goal.  And though I may not be blogging much anymore (because really, how inspirational is a blog full of failures, and whining?) know that no matter what comes my way (another dead baby #2 due date this week, and the anniversary of my first still born next week) I never give up.  I give in for a while, but I refuse to accept that I am supposed to be fat my entire life, even if I am sad.  And really, in the end, that's the thing that counts, not giving up.

Here's to not giving up...again, and again, and again!

Are we Wie-ners? Yes we are!!

So how cool is this??  Lynnette and I were chosen for a blog award!  Its our first one, and yeah...I'm a bit geeked!  I'm a dork, I know, but how fun that someone else out there actually thinks what we have to say is entertaining...even if its with a sort of head shaking disbelief!  So here is our nifty little award!
2011 Two Shoe Guys Fitness Blog Award Winner
Awarded by the athletic shoes fanatics at

Oh yeah!  Oh yeah!  You love it! ;)

So, having bragged, I guess I should offer a little update on myself...

Though we are surly wieners winners in someones twisted brilliant mind, I myself?  Well...


Yup, that's right.  I am losing pounds!  That's right people, plural!  P.O.U.N.D.S!  I am down about 2lbs a week.  I'm walking most every day, and keeping my cals around 1300...which is giving me a deficit of a thousand cals a day (thank you Bodybugg!).  I am loving that I have lost a pant size since October, and my belt?  Well, lets just say its wrapping a bit further around these days!  I'm thrilled!
And its a biggin'...
Christmas is coming!  ARGH!  The holidays, my nemesis!  And worse yet, the winter, and worse still...January (you'll have to go back and figure out why January is so awful for me, lets just say I'm horribly sad in January and I am an emotional eater!).  But I'm keeping my chin up, and I am preparing for the worse and thumbing my nose at all of those ooey-gooey-delicious-mouth-watering [dangerous] cookies!
Good luck to you this holiday season!  If you have any tips on keeping yourself under control I'd love to hear it in a comment, or visit us on Facebook!

Who knew beans could taste so insane??

I know I haven't posted in forever. I haven't given up on getting healthy, I've just been focusing more on doing it than talking about it. Sometimes this blog just makes me feel like a loser, and its best avoided.

Anyhow, I'm hosting a little Halloween shin dig tomorrow with a few little tikes, so I was trying to find some uber healthy appetizer ideas since we are roasting hotdogs over a fire for the main course. I needed to balance out the dogs, ya know? Anyhow, I made this Garlicy White Bean Dip to go with some raw veggies and home made wheat pita chips I made. Can I just say O.M.G.!! Seriously. I mean, I eat veggies. Or at least, I try. Its sort of an effort. I prefer carbs and fat. But this has me yearning for them...just so I can have the dip too! The dip is 83 cals per 2tbs. Today, the dip, was the main focus of our lunch. Its beans!! I mean, vitamins, protien...and garlic, lots of garlic (though you can add or reduce at will). And the lemon cuts through it all and with the fresh oregano everything taste so fresh and scrumdidelyumpshish! Though, honestly, at this moment I could breathe fire and chase off the entire Cullen family!


I just hope there's enough left for our party tomorrow.

I have serious issues!

Yeah, I think I'm just about the ONLY person in this world who decides its time to loose weight, and then actually puts weight on.

Like I'm gonna starve so I'm storing up...

I have serious issues.

Here's to trying again, and finding the courage to dump the soda down the drain and not make Mac-n-Cheese.

My first dip back into exercise

I went for a walk. It was a half hour walk, I burned 160 cals. That's about 5 cals a minute. The humidity is dreadful! I can't breathe and it really made me tired! But I walked the big block around my area and feel good about it. Now the key is to not lay down and take a nap! :D

Well now THAT's funny!

I saw this on my morning walk today! Feels like I'm in a movie!
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

A good start

It's been a good few days. I'm aiming to have a 500+ calorie deficit each day (meaning I burn 500 calories more than I eat, and I know this thanks to my BodyBugg). So far so good. Monday I had a 655 cal deficit and yesterday I had a 915 cal deficit. I even tried to go for a walk last night and I got half way down the driveway and realized that it was raining. Not wanting to ruin my shoes, my iPod or my Bodybugg; I went back inside. But I was proud of myself for making the effort to even put my shoes on and grab my iPod and walk out the door. I'm going for a walk this morning. I'm walking my daughter over to her grandmother's house. No, it's not far. I might get in a twenty minute walk, which is leagues away from my hour and a half walks of last fall...but I'm so out of shape I have to start small.

So as far as food goes I'm just trying to be normal and moderate. Moderation is a big issue with me. I can't have just one of anything. I've also been cooking at home, so I'm sure that's a HUGE help. Yesterday I made a mix version of Fettuccine Alfredo from McCormick. I wasn't a fan. Last week I made the Knorr version (using half cream and half milk) and it was way better. We LOVE Alfredo around here and knowing that we're upwards of a thousand calories when we eat it out, I'm trying to learn how to make it here at home so that we can save about half of those calories. The week before I made it from scratch; cream, milk, Parmesan cheese and was SO not good! So I am on a mission to try a new recipe or mix each week until we find one that we LOVE as much as eating out. I'd really love to find out how to make Carrabba's version of it. But for know the Knorr mix will be a staple in the cabinet because it was super fast and pretty good. Tonight we are having Venison steak on the grill with sweet potatoes and corn on the cob. Sigh. My mouth is watering just thinking about it. But that's the key right? If you're gonna shove calories in, they had better be worth it! Then tomorrow I am making Southwestern Steak Salads with the left over meat (avocado, black beans, grilled corn, pico...). If I can keep myself eating food that I look forward to here at home, then maybe the eating out crutch won't be so missed.

I'm also drinking a lot of Slim-Fast. No, I don't promote it, I don't think it's healthy or good for you. Its loaded with sugar and who knows what else. But, its a crutch. I am using it to deal with a massive caffeine addiction (I used chocolate and add instant coffee for an iced mocha flavor). I am also using it to shrink my appetite which is out of control. But for the same amount of calories you could have an egg sandwich on a wholegrain English Muffin with a slice of 2% cheese singles and a few strawberries. Way more healthy, way more food and for the same calorie price. Its by far a better just doesn't have caffeine. Maybe I should learn to drink black coffee. I love tea, but it takes me several glasses of tea to ward off that nasty headache. Sigh. So little by little I am cutting back on the caffeine because I'm too big of a wimp to endure the three day caffeine with drawls.

This morning I was down to 170.3lbs. SCORE! I love the first fast few pounds that come off thanks to water. I'm so close to being back in the 160's, and that, for some reason, is very motivating to me!

Ok gotta walk the little monster over to her grandma's and get busy trying to "settle in" to this new home that is still a frustrating disaster! Here's to another day of trudging along.